| For the first time in her life, Ruth is hooked up to an oxygen tank. She is six years old and is |
| coughing up great quantities of blood. She is scared. I am scared. I think out loud, conversing |
| with my fears. I ask her, “Ruth, what gives you strength? What things do you love? Let’s make a list…” |
| And we take an old EEG result lying around the unit for scratch paper and write her list. |
| Slowly, slowly, delicately… something starts to stir… We realize that we could turn this list |
| into verses, and reorganize it into a poem. We are delighted and surprised that at such an |
| upsetting, terrifying moment—being hospitalized after a drastic change for the worse—we |
| left the scary straits and moved into the spaciousness of the infinite where we could feel the |
| love and embrace of the Creator. |
| “Strength” |
| Sometimes when I feel sad and am in pain |
| I get the feeling that “it's” coming. |
| O call all of my angels. |
| Some are visible, some invisible. |
| Some come from within me, some from the outside… |
| The doctors who I love |
| The nurses who lovingly follow up on my weight |
| The family who hugs me… |
| Games, also, I have found, make me so happy; |
| Dolls and colors. |
| Now, I am finding out that my thoughts also have power |
| And I can control them and decide on them with my brain. |
| In this way, I can decide that actually now, it is good and pleasant |
| And the painful place doesn't even hurt. |
| Then suddenly, the world is less threatening and cold. |
| It is even sort of embracing and full of light. |
| Heavy burdens become bearable |
| Real pain is less felt. |
| Through this learnt wonder |
| I connect strongly to God in heaven |
| Who sits there and really and truly |
| Looks after me |
| And loves and loves… |
