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Categories | Subcategories | Typical codes |
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Ability to strive for new encounters | It is difficult to participate in something by myself, even if I already know about it. | (i) I knew about the facility, but I just couldn’t gather the courage. (ii) I feel uneasy entering an already-established group. |
With play plans and staff mediation, I can participate comfortably. | (i) Without any mediation, it would be impossible to make friends. (ii) It became easier for me to participate because the staff gave their kind attention. |
For my child’s sake, I think I can gather courage and participate. | (i) I am tense going to places where I don’t know anybody, but if my child says he/she wants to go, I’ll go. (ii) Going somewhere new is extremely scary for me, but for my child’s sake, I was brave. |
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Ability to try to interact socially with others | I try to be first one to say hello. | (i) When I meet someone I know, I try to be the one to initiate a greeting. (ii) I am the one to begin talking about my child’s growth and development. |
I can generally build good relationships with anyone. | (i) I think it is a loss to be shy. (ii) I find having conversations with others enjoyable. |
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Ability to choose compatible people | It is difficult for me to maintain a relationship if there are differences in personalities and values. | (i) I cannot socialize unless the other person behaves with decent common sense. (ii) While talking to another mother, I can tell if we are compatible. |
I look for commonalities such as shared topics and mutual experiences. | (i) It may be easier to become friends if we have similar lifestyles or family composition. (ii) If our children are the same age, we can share the same problems. |
I discern how trustworthy a person is. | (i) I am wary of people who ask about my husband’s profession the first time we meet. |
I sense if someone has an approachable atmosphere. | (i) If the other person doesn’t seem to want to interact, it is difficult for me to strike up conversation. |
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Ability to continuously maintain good relationships | I estimate the benefits of having connections. | (i) I want to create relationships in which I can casually receive information when something happens to my child. (ii) I build relationships now anticipating that they will continue in the future. |
I want to continue good social relationships. | (i) If I remember the name of the other person’s child, it is easy for me to say hello when I see them in the neighborhood. (ii) Over time, I would like to connect with all sorts of people. |
I want to be in mutually caring relationships with friends. | (i) When I see someone who has no one to rely on, I want to help that person somehow. (ii) Because we both understand each other’s busy situations, I don’t mind if email replies are late. |
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Ability to take action suitable to a situation | I choose conversation topics depending on the other person. | (i) I have different topics for friends without children. (ii) It is tiresome to be told about child-rearing ways from the old days, so I do not really bring up the topic of child-rearing when speaking with old women in the neighborhood. (iii) I pay attention when choosing my words so as not to make the other person uncomfortable. |
I will approach in harmony with those around me. | (i) In regards to doing anything, I think it is better to be a little reserved if possible. (ii) Balance is important because if you put up too strong of a wall of defense, it is impossible to become close with someone. |
Concern regarding trouble among children. | (i) Little fights over things are to be expected among children, so I tell the other mothers not to worry about them. (ii) I think it is important for parents to watch their children closely and be able to say “sorry” if something happens. |
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Ability to build positive relationships with parents-in-law | I value the time I spend with my parents. | (i) I hold events such as the 100th day after birth and birthday celebrations together with my parents. (ii) I make my parents happy by giving them photographs of my child and things that he/she made. (iii) I sense that my in-laws also want to look after their grandchild. |
I indulge in their kindness while remaining reserved. | (i) My in-laws will feel uncomfortable if I am too reserved, so I say thank you and indulge in their kindness. (ii) I think we should look after our child’s affairs as a couple as much as possible. |
I try to show deference to my parents-in-law. | (i) When my in-laws and I have a difference of opinion, I try to present it as information that I heard from someone else so as not to offend them. (ii) Each time I have a request, it would be easier to ask my own parents, but I withhold it and show deference to my husband’s parents. |
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